Mar 292010
 

All in a days work.. I got a ton accomplished that day at the 9-5 too. Really!

From: Ses     To: CK
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 12:38 PM
Subject:
Quick, etc

Today on a Kings blog:

‘Shortly, the Kings will announce that goalie Jonathan Bernier has been called up from Manchester of the AHL. Bernier is expected to be with the Kings in St. Paul today and, a bit later, I’ll have more information on exactly what Bernier’s role with the team is expected to be. Since he was with the Kings and beat Dallas 2-1 in a shootout on March 12, Bernier has appeared in six games with Manchester and allowed a total of 12 goals.’
From me: You crack me up CK. I got your must-decline-Metric message Sunday when I found the super secret bat-phone and was sure it was gonna be “Hey I am here and no tix” or something and just laughed when it wasn’t. Yeah, you definitely regret it, she was amazing, of course. But sleep & rest are good things & super under-rated in our industry. I always deem dormires an epic win.

From: CK    To: Ses
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 1:03 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

I was just talking about Quick / Bernier this morning. We’ll see what happens. I worry that Quick is tired, and yet a rest will throw him off his game. We need him to be sharp as a diamond. Game rest, heavy practice is my solution.
Thanks for the update.

From: Ses      To: CK
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 2:52 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

I know! Srsly trying not to stress. His wife shoulda timed her pregnancy for post post-season delivery. I would have. UGH.     

From: CK      To: Ses
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 3:01 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

I don’t think it’s the child so much, we just overworked him and Olympic break wasn’t much a mental rest for him. Bernier is playing tomorrow. We’ll see what happens. I got my fingers crossed for a huge playoff run.
And you can’t really time “sex”. When the getting is good, you get down.

From: Ses      To: CK
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 3:31 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

Hey, I do darn OK in biology CK, thank you very much – & you can totes time pregnancy, particularly if you’re the woman. She’d just have to go with him to away games. Even if they’re catholic & follow that ridic no birth control rule, oversexing him (it can be any kind of sex, he just needs to, err, finish like at least 3x daily, everyday, no excuses) would make pregnancy super unlikely, it’s what the women in my fam have done for generations. And they’ve always had only 2-3 kids total going back several generations using no other birth control (3 kids would be further back in the timeline, when that was considered srsly low/fortunate).

i paid for part of my share of college as a nanny for infants (newborn to 1st birthday) so I have some cred here: new babies and new mommies need hubbies more and it affects the guys every time. Particularly the new needs of the new mommies.

why did you put “sex” in quotes like that? I don’t get it. Unless sex is not real for you, which is prob too personal-sharey for our friendship at this juncture…

Oh **YAY** – are we gonna get into a huge convo/debate over nothing again? I can feel it. I’m excited. 

From: CK     To: Ses
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 3:57 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

Yes, debate over nothing is my favorite.
“sex” as in pregnancy, where this conversation started, and coincidentally, where a baby starts. Not meaning sex just for the f of it. No pun intended. (maybe slightly)
I wouldn’t say oversexing is a good form of birth control, but I don’t mind the method. Funny story. A girl asked me once “how much sex is a lot”, and I responded “what do you mean, like in one day?” she grew very red, and said “well in general I guess”. I thought about it for a minute and said “Well, probably 4 times in a day is a lot”. She literally fell out of the chair in shock (she said she has gone for years without sex). Poor girl hadn’t really ever gotten to enjoy the good life, I feel quite bad for her.
I don’t think wives are allowed on away games, or if they are, very strongly discouraged. Brown has to share a room with Doughty, and I’m guessing that leaves little room for oversexing on Drews part, ie Brown is married.

From: Ses      To: CK
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 4:58 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

OK then the “sex” makes sense. beeteedubs: we kiddies spell it “eff.”
4 times in a day is nothing if it’s a non-work day; but I guess asking her for further clarification would just be more traumatic for the poor dear. I feel quite bad for her too, actually it’s rather depressing. I woulda probably turned red, but my body likes to blush for no reason whatsoever, I don’t know why (obvi, i know). I wrote a poem that mentioned it once and read it at a coffee house. (No laughing!! Actually, NM, it’s cool, u can laugh) “the good life” reminds me of my fave TFLN this past weekend: “new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i’m 2 for 5.” -AWESOME; right?!!

Speaking of being deprived, why do girls use alleged headaches as an excuse to avoid sex? That came up on my facebook this weekend and I can’t believe guys don’t call chicks out on that more: nothing disappears a headache faster than what he’s suggesting. Guys should respond like, “Swell, I have the perfect fix. (it’s my junk)”
I know most ppl disagree with my mom’s alternate birth control 4 catholics but it has a track record in our family (until I broke rank and got the pill, mainly for reasons other than birth control though) & among her catholic friends who employ it – they don’t have extra kids. It kinda makes sense, I think, regarding the guys counts and stuff ie less concentration per, um, shot*.
So a hotel room is the only place to fuck/get head? & they’re NHL members? Please. Besides, according to the former roomie they like an audience. Or they let their teammates hang out or something. I asked if they held their hand too and cheered them on and that’s when the conversation ended. It was kinda tactless of me but I was trying to understand and was on mimosa #5, and felt like it was a tactless conversation for a sunday morning-ish. Away games – I’m sure there’s a workaround anyway.
*it took me 20 minutes to decide what to call this. still blushing all over. but ‘junk’ was no big deal.

From: CK     To: Ses
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 5:13 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

There is a name for the kind of behavior your roommate was part of, “sport fucking”. Ironic isn’t it? She sounds like a serious um, exhibitionist. No way in hell am I letting any of my teammates / friends / co-workers, etc watch me screw a girl that I like (or for me, any girl), even if i didnt care beyond the notch in the bedpost, as you seem to think all guys tally. But I’m speaking of guys in general here. If he is letting his friends watch, he’s laughing about it when she leaves, and that’s about the end of it. Of course this is obvious, but I felt the need to point it out. If fucking hockey players is her “sport”, then Hiller is a good one, she should be proud of that if nothing else.
“shot” works.

From: Ses     To: CK
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 6:33 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

OK.1st, um, ew ‘sport fucking’ just sounds not right. 2nd – yes, irony, still ew & a cringe. Exhibitionist – I think so, she def needs to be center of attention all the time, which she maintains in ways I have a hard time wrapping my mind around. Super for you and for whomever you play doctor with (cuz you’ve got class). I figured it wasn’t an indication of great respect, but thanks for the conf. She said it was a hockey thing (I hope she doesn’t really think that) – referred to ‘them’ as in a group trait among the myriad nhl members she laid/got laid by. Also I know they were on drugs I can’t even pronounce on several occasions. I think laying anything was her sport though, she was newly single and not stoked that her ex let her leave. Hiller? I guess if you say so but I don’t think he’s hot, or anyone in the nhl for that matter. To me they all look like Neanderthal men, and rickets doesn’t turn me on. Hotness in hockey doesn’t really occur to me so long as they can skate or put pucks into/keep pucks out of nets, and *punch him in the face!*.
Good, cause I didn’t care to think of laundry (load). This chain seems like its buried under mountains and mountains of cum. Just had to note that, officially, since its breaking new ground for us. I may never look at you without giggling again.
make a scarlet ‘V’ 4 vague and sew it on me already, i can’t possibly explain all the connections my dendrites are synapticly firing over. If I can’t keep up with myself – and make no mistake: I can’t – then how can I avoid vague? (did I sell that? did you buy it?)

PS I seriously love that last paragraph I wrote. “did I get away with it?” – classic Ses.

From: CK     To: Ses
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 6:53 PM
Subject:
RE: Quick, etc

I like the scarlet V idea. And just carry it in your pocket. It can be self administered when you feel you have successfully vagued the incident bystanders. Wear it like a badge of honor if you must.

Yes – VICTORY! I finally won CK the boy-bestie’s  endorsement of my random acts of extreme & on-purpose vagueness. I’m ended the chain then and there before he had a chance to come to his senses and take it back.

This is what keeps me sane during the insane workday of an ent-asst, OK?